Last Night I Felt Like Pookie Up in "The Carter."

Last night was mentally and emotionally horrible!  Usually... Friday nights are family fun nights.  We have a really "fun" kid friendly dinner.  You know, that kind where you don't have to keep asking them to take one more bite.  Negotiating bites like the police negotiate for hostages.    So after clean up we usually pop homemade popcorn in the "air" popper and melt butter and sprinkle salt.  We watch a family movie and chill together.  It's my favorite night of the week!  The start of Shabbat!  

Well last night was different...  Last night I felt like Pookie up in "The Carter!"  I'm not sure if you remember, New Jack City, but Pookie was the recovering addict (played by Chris Rock) that helped the NYPD infiltrate Nino Brown's drug cartel.  There was a scene where Pookie was in "The Carter" where they were cutting crack... and he was having a REALLY hard time not relapsing and eventually the addition over took him and he hit the pipe!!!!  

I'm SOOOOO HAPPY to report I didn't!  I stayed strong and made popcorn for my kids and watched them eat it while I didn't touch not one morsel to my lips.  All praise to Yahweh because that was hard. And that was on the heels of both of my boys eating frosted covered cookies they were given for Dr. Seuss' Birthday.  The smell of sugar and "real flour" sent me close to the edge of raiding my refrigerator for dried FIGS!!!  I know right, lame splurge, but if you know me I can eat like 8 dried figs in one sitting and they have 62.3 grams of sugar per fig... So that's like eating 8 pieces of hard candy or 8 Nestles 100 Grand Candy Bars.  Think I'm joking take a look at this chart http://thepaleodiet.com/fruits-and-sugars/.  However, I didn't succumb to the pressure the feeling inside.  

"crack bags" from "The Morgan"

I kept thinking about something my sister always says, "I was made for more than this"... (taken from a book I think called Made to Crave).  I thought about my yoga lesson from Tuesday, "The pose doesn't start until you want to come out of it!"  (Man, did I want to come up out of my house and go to a Paleo Friendly environment).  And I most importantly, I prayed to Yahweh for strength and control of physical temptation.  I made it though my first Friday Family Fun Night and I have not relapsed.... I will tell any one making a life style change.  Tell people.  The more people that know, who are in your corner, will help you stay "sober."  Having my husband there last night, and joking with him about the situation and making all my "Pookie" references and reenactments totally helped!  Ultimately, I had to keep the end goal in mind...

BTW, I'm still having trouble with nuts... it's like my "go to" thing when I need a little somethin' somethin'!  I've switched to pistachios from cashews...however, if I'm not down a pound in the morning.  I'm officially giving them up!