I'm at the 1/2 way mark...and proud of myself!

I finished week 6 and I have 6 more weeks to go!  I do have to say I'm proud of myself.  Not because I got to 115 pounds or I've even gotten past 120 in 6 weeks (banging my head against the table)  I'm proud because I'm a really busy mom of two active boys who need me all the time. I keep a house clean.  I cook 3 meals each day and serve snacks most days of the week.  No one has ever said, "Mom, I don't have underwear."  I read the bible and spend time with God each day.  I try to give to my family and friends.  And I do most of this with a husband who travels, so I'm holding down the fort by myself most days.  However, not matter how busy I've been these past 6 weeks I've worked out 4-6 days a week for 6 weeks without missing a day (Thank you Lord)! Sometimes I've gone in twice in one day to get my yoga or cardio in too!  I see changes and that makes me smile (Pressed 180 pounds with my legs today. 6 weeks ago I was at 90 with these little chicken legs).  BUT... I also see stubborn area's and that makes me "sad," Especially since I could tighten up the ship and stop eating some things
(nuts/avocado).

Truth or Truth:  I still can't give up nuts!  I think the more I say I'm going to stop the more I want them so I have allowed myself to enjoy them for now.   My favorite, dry roasted almonds with sea salt!   Dangerous... I can eat a bag (11 servings ) in 2 days!  No lie!  I'm sure that's why I'm holding at 120!  It's such a catch 22 for me!  Phase III starts in 2 weeks so I'm planning on leaving the nuts alone and most fruit for that last month and really rip the body up!

Note:  I was looking for an image of Almond Nuts to post in this blog and I ran across this article... I guess I'm going to back away from the dry roasted almonds!  Ugh, can a girl catch a break 1800:1!  Take a look at this article about Omega 3's verses Omega 6's.  http://www.crossfitoakland.com/archives/2012/08/3-paleo-foods-you-may-be-over-doing

Paleo is going well for the most part!  I'm pretty cool with no carbs these days (don't miss at all)... I guess my addiction was replaced with a "nut" addiction...  I found out my "genotype" the other day with my bestie in PA Nafisa... I'm a WARRIOR and so I've been eating the foods that my genotype likes and I really have noticed a difference in my digestion and my energy level.  For example:  Chicken is a food I should avoid.  I felt like I should for a while as I didn't feel the greatest after I ate it.  Now I know why... I've also started focusing on eating foods that help my genotype lose weight along with Paleo to keep the (stomach) fat away.  Surprise that's a pitfall of The WARRIOR genotype (stomach fat) and what keeps me in the gym all the time.  After I had my kids it's like I can't get a six pack to save my life!  (I know, I know... stop eating nuts. To the voice in my head).  Take a look at the website:  http://www.genotypediet.com/index.shtml if you want more information on genotype it makes a lot of sense.

From the same author of "Eat Right 4 Your Type..."  A book I love and think is wonderful.  Eating the foods that are right for your blood type.  The GenoType just gets more specific!  You can change how our genes are expressed!

My next post will be an update picture... half way baby.  I know if I take care of my bad habits I can really transform this little old body for the better/best!  I gotta make my mind up... It's up to me!  

Day 31... The pictures tell me more than a scale!

So I've been at it for a month day!  I've made some strides and I'm feeling great... Very strong and proud of myself for not skipping a single workout in 31 days.  I'm trying not to let the number on the scale make me mad... still holding at 120.  I'm also trying not to let the body fat measurement I had yesterday morning get me down... 22.4% (before I got sick in December I was at 17.9%).  I want to live at 15%... I have some work ahead of me (sigh).  But I'm up for the challenge.  I'm up for it!

Paleo life has been okay... I'm getting a bit bored of food because I'm not really changing it up.  My schedule is crazy busy right now with my kids starting baseball and trying to train a 6 day split,
AND take yoga too, so no time to really experiment.  I guess that doesn't matter at this point.  I have to look at food as fuel ONLY!  When time permits I'll get creative again!

Next Paleo site I will feature:  http://www.thepaleomom.com/recipes  

I love this site because she give so much "science" behind Paleo!  I love it!  One of my favorite Paleo pancake and Paleo banana bread recipes come from this site.  I don't eat this kind of stuff often at all... It's a treat kind of thing.  Just cause something is "Paleo" doesn't mean it will get me to 15% body fat!  It might "be clean" but it doesn't get me to my goal!

Today I hit my legs really hard!  It felt great!  If you want to try a great leg workout, male or female check this one out!  It is a BEAST!  I know I'm going to really "feel" it tomorrow... Glad I have two days until my next leg workout!

Bodybuilding.com - Jamie Eason's LiveFit Trainer: Day 31

Her legs don't "do" it for me, but I liked what the message said...  Below is my leg envy...

She is more my speed... Pressing forward... One day!  I promise one day!

Still down 5 pounds and muscle is coming back.

So it's been a minute since I've had the opportunity to sit down and write... I so wish I could write everyday, but reality is I'm a wife and mom and those jobs trump "blogger!" At this point in time, I'm holding at 120.  Still a little frustrated by that number (just being real), but I'm feeling really strong and I feel like when I do lose weight it will be because I've permanently shifted my life style.  I will have lost the weight doing something my body can and will support long term.  I will be eating in a manner consistent with longevity.  When I was unable to digest protein without pain about 3 months ago I think the hardest thing I had to watch was all my muscle definition go away!  In February I felt like I was starting from scratch as I saw my once "cut" frame become light and fluffy (I am aware some people like like and fully; however, I am not one of them!)

I can't believe I have two more days in week 4 of my 12 week trainer (www.bodybuilding.com) Jamie Eason's 12 Week Trainer.  After reviewing phase II last night I think I'm going to love it!  I'm excited about putting cardio back in my day/week!  I'm sure I'll see some changes with this addition to my workout routine.  Can't wait to post I've broken the 120's.  Here's a picture of my bicep after 3 1/3 weeks of working out with weights and proper nutrition.

Well, back to things Paleo! I'm excited to report my husband is down almost 15 pounds in 3 1/3 weeks and he is feeling really good!  Go Marc, Go!!!!  As for me I'm still loving it I just really want to not CRAVE nuts!  I'm doing well not consuming too many (I know, I know I was supposed to give them up!  I'm human), but I hate that my obsession with carbs turned into a nut obsession!  Oh well... I guess I could have much worse additions; however, in the quest for a fly body, nuts do not mix in well with that equation.

So as promised, I said I would start to feature some of my favorite blog sites:

www.paleoplan.com

I like this site because it is simple and organized. Recipes are easy to follow and taste really good. One of my favorites: Chicken Fajitas with Guacamole.  Below is my version! I don't buy into any of the "paid plan" stuff but what they give for "free" is good information! Please note: I do not condone eating any pork or shell food (Any food outside Leviticus 11 is off my list of foods I'll eat)... but sometimes you can view the recipe and substitute a clean meat! Enjoy my first recommended site.

Subtle & Small Changes: But Changes Nonetheless

I told you my efforts are centered around healthy living and being the best I can be!  The strongest!  The most BALANCED!  I'd be lying to you if I said I don't care what the scale says (btw still 120 and holding), but I'm happier two weeks out, especially when I see pictures tell me what I can't see everyday!  I'm in two full weeks and 3 days; however, I'm in my 3rd week of training (Bodybuilding.com Jamie Eason's 12 week program).  And I can see changes in my body!  I'm excited about that!  More muscle and smaller stomach for sure!  I have 9 more weeks and I know I'll progress so much more!

Week #0

Week #2

I'm happy about my increase in strength as I've been able to do some things in Yoga class I've never been able to do before with ease! I think I've gotten braver too... like I stated before the pose doesn't start until you want to come out of it!  And I'm okay with falling on my face if I know I TRIED!!!!  Erasing FEAR!!!  Here are the three poses I most proud of this week...

1.  Wild Thing flipped into Wheel on both sides.  This is a picture of wild thing but imagine flipping in to the picture below but on your hands not your forearms.

2.  Forearm Wheel

3.  Lotus Peacock

I really thought going Paleo was going to be harder.  Don't get me wrong it was pretty hard at first as I was detoxing off sugar and carbs, but now that my blood sugar's not spiking all the time I find I have greater energy, a sense of peace and balance.  I'm grateful!

Next few blogs are all about food!  The dishes I like.  Discoveries I've made.  The websites I love.   Thanks for taking this journey with me!

Celebrate small victories: Down one more pound

I promise I stepped on the scale each day this week and it read 121.2.  I felt like I was in the movie Ground Hog day!  I was grateful for not gaining but I wanted the sale to move, at least an ounce.  Somedays I jumped on and off the scale hoping it would measure something else.  I moved the scale.  Had my kids step on it to see if it would reset.  I looking in the mirror and asked why (won't you move down) and what (am I doing wrong)?  I know, I know, as a personal trainer I used to tell my clients all the time to trust the process.  Don't worry about what the scale says.  Stay focused and compliant and the scale will move or at least your clothes will fit better.  I wanted to roll my eyes at my trainer.  Oh yeah, "that" trainer is me.

So this week I was asked by a really good friend who has cancer if she should have a double or single mastectomy?  And since I haven't given her my answer yet I'm not going to tell you what I think.  However, the question had me "question" a lot of things in my own life.  A lot of times we can make decisions for others about choices that might seem "vain" easily; however, when you turn the mirror on yourself you can see the complication.  Her question made me look at myself as well.  At some point I thought about getting breast implants (2 1/2 years of nursing my boys almost back to back) took it's toll on the girls).  But I thought about why I wanted it.  Was/Is it vanity especially if my husband is content with me?  The fact that I want ripped abs, almost to the point of obsession, vanity?

A lot of times she thinks she's not able to "help" me do anything because she's fighting cancer; however, she always make me think.  Makes me question what I do (in a good way).  She challenges my beliefs (making me readjust or confirming them with greater conviction), and that my friend is one of the greatest "helps" you can give this stay-at-home mamma! This week I learned a huge lesson....

Always press towards your vision and goals; however, make sure those vision have the right motives behind them.  True confession:  I wanted the body first (vanity)... Health was a byproduct....  Now I'm striving for heath first and the body will follow!  I'm going to enjoy the Paleo/fitness process and celebrate where I am at this very moment (I'm loving energy level)!  Healthier and stronger...Hope you can do the same!  BTW, I relaxed and this morning the scale read 120.2!  I'll celebrate the small victories!

Point of Frustration...

I stepped on the scale this AM and it said I was 121.  A pound up!  Boy am I glad I don't get caught up in numbers, but I do have to admit I was disappointed.  Especially since I have given up nuts (I did have two servings, but then I was immediately directed to an article about how nuts can be "harmful" for people with Autoimmune Conditions like I have.  One of my favorite websites: www.the paleomom.com has a great article about it all (http://www.thepaleomom.com/2013/03/gluten-cross-reactivity-update-how-your-body-can-still-think-youre-eating-gluten-even-after-giving-it-up.html) ! So now I'm really going to give it up!  The older I get and the more I understand about my dietary issues the harder this gets and the more frustrated I become.  I think back to those days when I could seemingly eat anything and stay healthy and fit.  Now I'm eating super clean and working my tail off at the gym and somedays I'm left shaking my head!  I often hear that voice telling me to "give up and just eat/live how you want..."  But then I get really indignant and I say NO!!!  "The voice in my head that says I can't do this is a liar!!!"

Yesterday I was seriously confronted with this in yoga class.  After almost 2 1/2 months of "missing" one of my favorite yoga classes due to my boy's swimming lesson I rejoined one of the most inspiring class communities I've ever been a part of.  It's a class where you clap for people that do super amazing things with their bodies (stuff that shouldn't be possible).  Things you dream and wish you could do!  I'd say I fall in the top middle half of the class in ability to do some of those super hard postures.  Well, yesterday our instructor wanted to test the limits.  There were three pose sequences that he put together that had me sounding like a cussing cartoon character (frinkin, frackin, fruckin...)  I was soooooo frustrated when I left the class because my mind thought I could do the poses but my body said, NOPE!!!  I spent the night thinking about my frustration on the mat and how that frustration happens off the mat as well.

Then I had one of those moments that helped me embrace my current position in life!  I thought about how I kept collapsing on the mat over and over again.  Falling out of positions and getting stuck in certain positions, not able to move in or out of it freely.  What was the alternative:  NOT TRYING at ALL!!!  I don't think so.  See even though I failed I was getting stronger and more limber with each attempt.  But the most important thing that was happening is I was testing my limits and eliminating fear.  You see I was afraid of crashing on my head as I tried to move from camel into wheel and come out of wheel into a standing position without hurting myself.   Well, I only got from Camel to a back bend with my heads touching the floor.  I never made it up to wheel from there... but I TRIED.  I also tried Peacock Pose and fell flat on my face.  I took a step out loud in front of the entire class.  Did I succeed?  No!!  But I won because I tried.  Can't get better if you don't test the limits.

Each day I don't eat a carbohydrate.  Each day I don't eat a nut.  Each day I try to make food a fuel source and not an emotional experience.  I TRY!  I get to silence the voice in my head that says, "Just give up and I work on patience and resisting frustration/trusting the process.  I'm so totally a work in progress.  So I choose not to be frustrated by the scale or by falling on my face in Peacock Pose, but I celebrate that I put on a workout shirt that has been in hiding since last summer and I was able to do a freestanding handstand today (if only it was for 5 seconds).  I didn't touch the wall not once with my feet.

About to start a food log again... YUCK!

When I was training for a show a couple years ago I wrote down everything that went into my mouth.  I kept track of it all and while I was not a fan of doing that everyday it was extremely helpful in understanding calories consumed and the effect of certain foods on my body.  I did the same when I was having digestive issues and trying to figure out what my "trigger" foods were!  However, these days I'm not so much a fan of "keeping" track; however, I'm frustrated because my body is taking notes.  I'm not a scale girl (even though I was ticked I was up a pound this AM 121); however, I know I'm not 100% compliant with my intake of NUTS... Man these little things are making me sick!  My body let go of the carbs, I have not cheated.  NOT ONCE!  But it wants the NUTS and this is making me NUTS.  I don't want to give them up totally but I have to do a much better job of controlling my intake.  So here goes:  I WILL NOT EAT THEM FOR A WEEK and I will track my food intake on http://www.myfitnesspal.com/!!!!  Let's see what happens to the scale and my waistline...

I was having a discussion with my sister friend yesterday and she said, "Don't get too skinny.  I don't want you looking weird.  I notice you get 'happy' when you lose weight."  I thought about that statement for a moment and I realized that happiness and energy are only the byproduct of what really brings me joy:  Obedience to discipline.  When I deny my flesh and overcome the pull of my carnal mind I find satisfaction because I pulls me closer to Yahweh.  I'm thankful that I'm able to overcome the "Lust of the Flesh..." and listen more to His leading.  I feel like I'm a step closer to becoming who He wants me to be... Totally dependent on HIM and what He desires for my life.  Not succumbing to the pull of that voice in my head that's asking, begging me, to destroy the picture of who He created me to be in my mind.  Like I said in my last post "I was made for more!!!"  You see, the physical discipline (food, my diet, my appearance, my environment/is my house clean?) is the outward expression of the inward discipline going on or the lack there of...

I'M OBSESSED WITH THE PICTURE HE HAS FOR ME... NO ROOM FOR LAZINESS OR PROCRASTINATION!!!

Last Night I Felt Like Pookie Up in "The Carter."

Last night was mentally and emotionally horrible!  Usually... Friday nights are family fun nights.  We have a really "fun" kid friendly dinner.  You know, that kind where you don't have to keep asking them to take one more bite.  Negotiating bites like the police negotiate for hostages.    So after clean up we usually pop homemade popcorn in the "air" popper and melt butter and sprinkle salt.  We watch a family movie and chill together.  It's my favorite night of the week!  The start of Shabbat!  

Well last night was different...  Last night I felt like Pookie up in "The Carter!"  I'm not sure if you remember, New Jack City, but Pookie was the recovering addict (played by Chris Rock) that helped the NYPD infiltrate Nino Brown's drug cartel.  There was a scene where Pookie was in "The Carter" where they were cutting crack... and he was having a REALLY hard time not relapsing and eventually the addition over took him and he hit the pipe!!!!  

I'm SOOOOO HAPPY to report I didn't!  I stayed strong and made popcorn for my kids and watched them eat it while I didn't touch not one morsel to my lips.  All praise to Yahweh because that was hard. And that was on the heels of both of my boys eating frosted covered cookies they were given for Dr. Seuss' Birthday.  The smell of sugar and "real flour" sent me close to the edge of raiding my refrigerator for dried FIGS!!!  I know right, lame splurge, but if you know me I can eat like 8 dried figs in one sitting and they have 62.3 grams of sugar per fig... So that's like eating 8 pieces of hard candy or 8 Nestles 100 Grand Candy Bars.  Think I'm joking take a look at this chart http://thepaleodiet.com/fruits-and-sugars/.  However, I didn't succumb to the pressure the feeling inside.  

"crack bags" from "The Morgan"

I kept thinking about something my sister always says, "I was made for more than this"... (taken from a book I think called Made to Crave).  I thought about my yoga lesson from Tuesday, "The pose doesn't start until you want to come out of it!"  (Man, did I want to come up out of my house and go to a Paleo Friendly environment).  And I most importantly, I prayed to Yahweh for strength and control of physical temptation.  I made it though my first Friday Family Fun Night and I have not relapsed.... I will tell any one making a life style change.  Tell people.  The more people that know, who are in your corner, will help you stay "sober."  Having my husband there last night, and joking with him about the situation and making all my "Pookie" references and reenactments totally helped!  Ultimately, I had to keep the end goal in mind...

BTW, I'm still having trouble with nuts... it's like my "go to" thing when I need a little somethin' somethin'!  I've switched to pistachios from cashews...however, if I'm not down a pound in the morning.  I'm officially giving them up!

Down 5 Pounds in 5 Days...

Since I had my kids my biggest challenge has been finding a diet/lifestyle that I can sustain and one what keeps my stomach happy.  When I trained for a show a couple years ago I had no problem eating like a machine (no flavor or variety), because I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel.  See eating egg whites and oatmeal every morning or a can of tuna straight up didn't phase me because I knew I could eat a slice of pizza in 3-4 months if I wanted to.  However, with "Carbohydrate Intolerance" there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  The tunnel is your life.  I want to be fit and healthy, but I also want to enjoy some of the pleasures life has for me.  I had to find a way to make this a lifestyle change, something I could sustain.  I kept thinking of Ecclesiastes 2:24-25 "So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God."  

Yahweh helped... I can do this!  I think I stepped on and off the scale 3 times this morning to see if my new digital scale was trippin'!  5 pounds in less than a week.  I'm so excited!  And this Paleo diet thing has not been too bad.  I think this is something I can sustain.  I just have to keep searching the web for recipes and trying them out!  I thank God for all the bloggers out there who share their recipes.  Big ups to you and thank you from this new Paleo girl!

So if you are thinking of going Paleo and you are like me,  "Crap, I gotta have something comforting in my life or I'm gonna keep hitting the sugar pipe..."  then try this... Google what you want with the word Paleo after it.  Example:  "Pancakes Paleo" or "Tuna Salad Paleo..."  When I tell you those two searches rocked my world this week I'm not exaggerating!

I found a great protein rich Paleo pancake recipe:  http://www.thepaleomom.com/2012/09/perfect-paleo-pancakes.html.  I sprinkled some cinnamon on it and they were perfect!  Loved them!

I also found a great tuna salad recipe: http://everydaypaleo.com/two-minute-tuna-salad/.  I didn't use the capers and I added a little Horseradish Mustard to the dressing!  It think I liked it better than my traditional tuna salad recipe!  It helps to try new things in life!

Put the pictures up...

I thought I'd share my inspiration... These two ladies are what I'm gunning for!  I'm not trying to compete in a show, I just want to look like I could.  The lady on the left has the upper body I want and the lady on the right has the legs... They both have the abs...  So I plan on printing this out and putting it up on my bathroom mirror and in the pantry...where all my kid's healthy snack food resides.  You know, the stuff I can't have any more, like popcorn!  But since I have an image in my head I know cheating will only cheat me out of my goal!

Get your inspiration and keep the vision in front of you always!  

I Hurt So GOOD!!!

I'm starting to enjoy this...  why you ask?  #1 my energy is OFF THE CHAIN!!!!  #2 I'm down to 121.2 pounds from 125 on Sunday!  #3 I don't have cloudy thinking anymore!!!!  Do I still want things I'm not supposed to have, like sugar, popcorn, pizza, feta cheese, rice, oatmeal, quinoa?  Why yes, yes I do, but I want health and a fit body more!

Here are a few of my meals from yesterday.  Besides this, I had an egg veggie scramble, banana and an apple.  So yesterday I ended up eating only one hand full of nuts, and for me that's a miracle;  but after I ate them my stomach hurt, so I think I'm letting them go for real, at least for a time!  Today I haven't had any and I feel AWESOME.

Yesterday was "back and bicep" day at the gym and I just love the post workout sore feeling (that picture was from 2 1/2 years ago.  And trust me when I say I'll look better than this by summer).  Man, is my back talking to me today.  I LOVE IT!!!!  I also took the opportunity to take Yoga from one of my favorite teachers, Karen (her one and only class is at a really "horrible" time for me)!  She teaches Anusara Yoga http://www.anusara.com/ which is all about alignment.  Proper Alignment that is! She said something to us as an offering to ponder "on and off" the mat that stuck with me so much.

"Your pose doesn't start until you want to get out of it."  I examined that on the mat with the postures I want to run from as soon as I get into them (i.e. sleeping tortes).  What type of emotions does this posture bring out of me?  Feelings of inadequacy and frustration?  The voice in my head screaming, "Why can't you get your legs over your elbow crease and fold forward with straight legs and breathe calmly?"  Then I'm reminded to be present and breathe.  The practice doesn't start until I want to go!

Isn't that so life?  How many times do I think when my kids are at school, "I will not yell at them when they are disobedient.  Or, when they are fighting with each other I will remain calm."  In theory, I'm the chillest mom on the planet... but I just got into the "pose" not even a 1/2 second ago.  It's when I'm in the "thick of the moment" that I want to get out of the pose (motherhood...  Calgon take me away.)

that my practice begins!  Then I'm reminded to be present and breathe.  I love lifting weights and getting my pump on, but I so appreciate my yoga practice and what it gives me on and off the mat (grace, patience and flexibility).

3 Pounds Down...

Yesterday was great!  I feel good about my choices... still had more nuts than I should consume.  So I've decided to take them out for a week or so and pray about my lack of "self control."  I've always known I have an additive personality (why I don't drink, smoke or do drugs).  I'm an "all the way in" or "nothing" kind of girl.  But I so want to learn how to eat one piece of chocolate and walk away.  That's called denying your flesh Morgan! I'm good at it in some areas of my life and really piss poor in others.  I don't want to live in the world of complete deprivation for all things that "taste good."  So I'm praying during this process I get better at taking a bite and walking away!  I'm going to practice as I know this is  a skill, but until I get to where I want to be physically I'm going to stop all together.  Once I get to the body I desire, in some way I'll practice since I will have the motivation not to MESS UP all that work.  As of right now I'm like,  "it already looks crappy so go ahead have that extra one, two or three..."  NOT!!!!

I hit the weights hard yesterday. My chest and triceps are sore and I love that feeling!  Hurts so good.  Looking forward to today's work out for sure!  I'm also going to take a Yoga class to keep up with my practice of 3-5 times a week!  So bring on the two-a-days!

I'm happy to report I'm down 3 pounds since Sunday!  So now I have about 7-8 pounds to go.  My husband seems to think I'll get my ten off in less than a month!  We shall see!  Paleo isn't that bad but I do miss my feta cheese egg scrambles.  Breakfast didn't quite taste the same this morning!  But I'm okay with it... As they say, nothing taste better than feeling health feels.  I AGREE 100%!!!

Blessings flow from obedience

Are you kidding me?  I gained 5 pounds in a week...  I guess all my "eating stuff I've gotta let go of on Sunday" caught up with me.  Not sure why I didn't think 5 peanut butter spoons a day with rice cakes were NOT going to phase me.  Or that half of a medium Jules gluten free pizza and homemade popcorn everyday for a week by the "big bowl" was just going to magically be okay! Laughing over here, NOT!!!!  I'm just thankful my addiction is food.  I have sympathy for those quitting drugs and alcohol.  I understand with greater empathy why some individuals overdose right before they go into rehab.  I sure was overdosing on the foods I knew I had to "give up."

So my BMI is 21.5 (http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bminojs.htm).  I'm not too happy with that!  My weight is 125.  I'm not too happy with that!  I can't even get my skinny jeans up on my thigh.  I'm not too happy with that!  And this morning I put on my "biggest" jeans for church and they were tight.  I'm definitely not too happy about that!  I'm not a girl that get's caught up in scales and numbers but my clothes and my energy level always respond best when I'm resting at 115.  So ten pounds it is!

I also realized today I'm not hungry but I'm not satisfied.  Such a horrible feeling!!!  I eat and I always feel like I want something else... I know this too will pass... so I will live in obedience because I want the blessings to flow!

This might be hard, but I'm ready for the challenge.  Tomorrow I start my BODY smack down with Jamie Eason's Live Fit 12 week trainer http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html.  I'm not using her eating plan as I'm PALEO but I'm using her training schedule and I'm continuing with my yoga practice.  Pictures of my before body to come tomorrow!!!  Big stomach and all!  I promise I'm gonna keep this blog real.

Meal #1:  Salmon Cake with (Almond Flour) and Banana
Meal #2:  Two Eggs Hard Boiled with Carrot Ginger Soup and Raspberries and Blue Berries
Meal #3:  Mix Green Salad with Cashews and homemake Apple, Ginger, Garlic dressing.
Meal #4:  Trout, Green Beans, Salad, with Olive Oil and Lemon
Water:  80 oz and 2 cups of tea Ginger and Green with Agave.

My issue today:  Ate too many cashews... trying to fill a void.  Asked husband to get propane tank so I can grill up some food so I have more protein on hand when I'm hungry!

Game On!

All right, tomorrow starts my 12 week smack down and I'm ready!  I must admit I've been in quite a FUNK for 4 months for a plethora of reasons.  First off, I'm not a huge fan of winter and  once the cold sets in (i.e. I can't go outside without a jacket on.  I HATE big coats) I slide into the winter BLUES.  I'm sure in retirement I'll have a house in AZ or FL.  Marcus, (clearing my throat very loudly) we need to start saving!  Second, I was having major digestive issues and I felt like I couldn't eat and digest protein, so I lost sooooooo much muscle definition and anyone who knows me knows I like a "fit" body!  After trying to find out what foods I was allergic to through an elimination diet (by the way it didn't help my situation).  I found a doctor who figured out, I not only had a gluten sensitivity (went gluten free 2/12) but a complete Carbohydrate Intolerance.  Fermented sugar in my gut and a lack of digestive enzymes were causing my MAJOR stomach issues/pain.

But WHAT THE HECK.  Carbohydrate Intolerance.  Are you kidding me?  You've got to be joking.  I looked a the list of foods I could have and I was like this is PALEO (minus the limited dairy I could have)... Please just shoot me (kidding).  I'm healthy, I eat clean, but I don't know if I want to be this healthy.  I can't have oatmeal, brown rice, quinoa??!!!  See I not only can't I have carbohydrates I can't have honey or dried fruit... Nothing that makes life, oh I meant to say meals, sweet!

So I find this information out 2/1/13.  I'm ticked... pissed off... irritated and sad.  Not to mention going through serious physical withdrawals from sugar (yes it is a drug).  The funny things is I didn't even eat processed sugar, hadn't for over a year.  My sugar came in the form of dried fruit; however, if you look at this cart http://thepaleodiet.com/fruits-and-sugars/ you can see I WAS eating SUGAR!!!!  LOTS of it!

I can't eat dairy because I have issues with my sinus (what got me in this dietary quandary in the first place.  Long story for a later post), and dairy produces too much mucus in the body.  So feta, goat cheese, and yogurt are out; even though they are on my "Carbohydrate Intolerance" approved list.  So PALEO it is...

Once I made up my mind I figured I might as well blog about it and share my experiences with anyone who might want to tune into my daily musings.  A couple of friends said, "Kimberly, this is easy for you!"  I must reply with NO IT ISN'T!!!  I struggle with wanting to eat the foods I'm emotional tied to, just like you... So I say, "Hello, my name is Kimberly and I'm a sugar/carbohydrate addict."  The difference, I'm determined to do it with a positive attitude.   Tomorrow I start my new exercise schedule and eating plan (my wonderful and supportive husband has agreed to go Paleo with me. Albeit 12 weeks).  I have a trip to Miami with my lover in July of 2013 and I want to get super sexy for him and our adult vacation.  So I say... GAME ON!